ORIGINALLY POSTED ON MYSPACE

Okay, first of all – I can’t use my name as my address on myspace because someone else with my name has already used it. (If you’re asking ‘Who?’ you need to go and lay down before reading any further).

So I need to be mikeswitzeruk because this other guy is some 19 year old dude living in Colorado. He plays hockey and his hero is Kramer from Seinfield. Yet he manages to have 129 friends?! I currently have 7. Therefore I am the least best at being Mike Switzer in the world. Wonderful.

Does nobody else find it weird asking people to be your friends on Myspace? I’ve met lots of people in my lifetime, and cherish their company deeply. But rarely since I passed the age of 5 have I felt the need to specifically ask someone ‘Will you be my friend?’ For Gods sake – what if they say no?? Aren’t I putting them in a particularly socially uncomfortable situation – it’s like asking if you think my personal hygiene is okay. You might not agree, but damned if you’ll actually SAY No.

And even weirder is asking William bloody Shatner to ‘be my friend’ when I’ve never met the guy. Yet he was the first one to agree, and asked no further questions about what I like! I’m beginning to think he’s not as emotionally invested in this relationship as me..

Now I have to find a picture that fully represents and sums up my personality to put on this page or I have to live forever with the grey space clearly stating ‘NO PHOTO’ instead of them just leaving it bloody blank. Instead of sending the message ‘Hey he just hasn’t felt like doing a photo yet’, like a lack of grey space would, it instead says ‘this guy is so insecure he can’t even find a picture that he’s confident either makes him look good or would make people laugh. What a ****er. Go and be the real Mike Switzer’s friend instead’.

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